Firewall Review

February 16, 2006 11:19 AM
by [email]

We’ve all seen the smirk before- apprehensive, apologetic, and ready for ass-kicking. It belongs to Harrison Ford, and whether he’s trying to save a plane, a member of the royal family, or, in the case of “Firewall,” a bank, it means the same thing- his family had better be left alone.

This time, the question is why? Jack Stanfield (Ford) is a top-notch security specialist for a prestigious bank. He has a requisitely beautiful wife (Virginia Madsen), an obnoxious teenaged daughter (“Mean Creek”’s Carly Schroeder), and a whiny little son (Jimmy Bennett). But before we can even start caring about them, director Richard Loncraine has their mouths taped, and guns pointed at their heads. Again, why?

There’s an answer, but it’s a convoluted one. A group of would-be kidnappers have been monitoring his family (grainy opening images fail to invoke terror), and setting him up for framing by slapping him with a giant gambling debt. While Jack is in an evening meeting, they break into his house, hold his family for ransom, and demand that he embezzle $10 million dollars from the bank he’s supposed to safeguard.

What follows is ninety or so minutes of some of the most shallow film reel shot this year. If you’ve seen the rousing “Air Force One,” or the venerable “Patriot Games,” there’s literally no reason to watch more than ten minutes of “Firewall.” You’ll know exactly what’s going to happen- a couple of close calls, a smattering of smirks, and a violent and fiery (no pun intended) finale.

But “Firewall” doesn’t just follow a tiresome formula peppered with ludicrous plot twists (if you can really call them that). It proves a colossal waste of talent, with characters about as deep as tin foil and writing so clunky almost every other line seems lifted from a TV movie of the week- with zero rhyme or reason.

For instance, Jack’s daughter asks “Why do you hate us so much?” but the villains never seem anything other than apathetic.

Ford, smirk intact, wheezes his way through his booby-trapped home and closely watched office, flustering his quirky assistant (Mary Lynn Rajskub) and igniting suspicion in two superiors (Robert Patrick and Alan Arkin).

At home, Madsen’s character tries to project strength and independence, but she lost all credibility early on by telling Ford “My only hobby is taking care of you.” And as the conniving bad guy, Paul Bettany can’t seem to settle on an accent. Is he British? From the Midwest? It doesn’t matter, he’s just evil.

I could go on about the wasted cast - if you’re going to have actors as good as Arkin, Bettany and Madsen, please use them - but I’m sure that Loncraine (who helmed the brilliant, inventive “Richard III”) knows that. Which is why “Firewall,” ultimately and unfortunately, struck me as simply lazy – the kind of project it probably took about two seconds to greenlight and less to develop.

Production designer Brian Morris gives the film a sleek look, and Madsen manages a bit of the welcome warmth that won her an Oscar nomination for “Sideways,” but most of the responsibility falls on Ford’s appealing, put-upon shoulders.

By the time Jack, his dog, and his disgruntled assistant make their nervous way to an abandoned cabin in the woods, the man who was once Indiana Jones seems to be getting a little old for such schenanigans. If the restless laughter in the screening room was any indication, we are too.

Grade: D